I'm Starting to Think This Relationship is Unhealthy For Me

God, I feel pathetic.

Here's where I'm at: I went on a date with a pretty hot (but possibly mentally unstable) girl, let's call her Mandy. It was nice. We had a good time... It didn't end the way we hoped, but I think we both enjoyed it. I told her to call me.

Flash forward a few months. The more and more I think about that girl, and the more and more I look at my current situation, the fonder I become of her. We've talked a few times, but nothing serious has come from it. We just can't seem to agree on where we're at, as far as the relationship goes. I put a lot of the blame on her weird friend Scott. I think he's trying to keep us apart for his own reasons.

So since nothing is happening with Mandy, I'm starting to get impatient, after all, the Big Dance is coming up, and I'd really love to have her as my girlfriend for it.

I've considered dating some other, less-hot girls, but ultimately, I decided against it. It didn't feel right. That window closed anyway, they moved on to other guys. Maybe for the better. I'm not even sure I wanted to date those other girls. Maybe I just wanted to make Mandy jealous.

So now I've given thought to moving on without her. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, maybe I don't need Mandy. I do have a backup plan. It's this girl I've known for the last couple years (let's call her Juanita). Problem is, she's not an attractive girl. She's really more like a sister. Don't get me wrong, she's a good person, she's reliable, but as far girlfriend material goes, I just don't think I can take her seriously, especially when I still have Mandy on my mind.

I check with Mandy. She's still single. Wow. With her looks, you wouldn't think she'd stay on the market this long, but I guess none of the other guys want to put up with her shenanigans. (She did mention she was thinking of moving up north, to the Bay Area. She met some guy on the internet, but that guy won't love her the same way, and she'd come to learn, she's not going to love him as much either. Plus, the weather is way nicer down here.)

Man, it just seems like the perfect fit. The Big Dance is almost here and neither Mandy nor I have a date. Even her weird friend Scott is starting to back off her a little. I remind Mandy of my previous offer to "Call Me."

Now I'm starting to really lose it. Day by day goes by and the more I look at the odd, misshapen face of Juanita, the more I understand that I can't go through with this without Mandy.

And this is were I start to feel pathetic.

I can't stop checking for Mandy. I check my phone, I check my e-mail, I check websites. Every day. Hell, every couple of hours. I'm looking for any kind of indication from Mandy that we can continue our relationship.

What is taking so long? What kind of sick game is she playing with me? I'm going crazy!

Stupid Scott, this has got to be his fault. In my heart, I know Mandy and I are perfect for each other, and Mandy has to know it, too. So what is the freakin' holdup?!?

I can't be sure, but I feel like it's close now. Any minute, that call is going to come in, or that e-mail will show up in my inbox. Any minute now.

But this wait is killing me. I still can't figure out how it got here, how I let Mandy mess with my life so badly, but it's happened, and now I'm her prisoner. I need her, and I need her soon...

And God does that make me feel pathetic.

P.S. I guess there's always hope. ESPN was reporting not too long ago that we were back together. As far as I know, nothings official yet, but I think everyone around us pretty much understands that we are meant to be.